We live in a world where anonymous messages are sent and received daily. We hear stories on this site about young teenagers taking their lives because of things they have received anonymously.
Since my controversial post yesterday, I have received upwards of one hundred hate messages sent to me via my ask box submitted anonymously.
I am thankful that I am a grown woman capable of ignoring trolling hate mongers, but we need to remember that not everyone is fully grown on this site. Not everyone knows that hate messages can and should be ignored
Even when we disagree with someone, just like I wrote in my post yesterday, we need to have respectful tolerance. If you think that I got my actual facts wrong, send me a message under your own name. If you just think I’m a conservative bigot and want to tear down my faith, my beliefs, and my lifestyle, please don’t send me anything. Because in the grand scheme of life, you’re hurting me, but more importantly, you’re hurting yourself.
I have seen so many people leave this site because of anonymous hate. I am not going to leave, but I am turning off my ask box completely.
Every single person who sent me a message since my post has been telling me how backwards, conservative, hateful, bigoted, and stupid I am. Isn’t that exactly what I was addressing in the post itself?
It’s 2013, y’all
Okay, so I thought I was going to be able to sit this one out. But this whole bakery closing over the gay activism thing is getting kind of heated so, naturally, I want a say in all of the hullabaloo.
I’m going to choose my words very carefully, because I know that I have dear friends and family who support both sides of this story. I’m going to try to be the voice of moderation. The fact of the matter is this all boils down to one thing: our rights as Americans. And anyone who knows me knows that I will defend the Constitution before I defend anything else. Ask them. They’ll tell you. And while I’m defending it I will recite it to you from memory. And then I’ll recite the Declaration of Independence to you. From memory. While solving a Rubik’s Cube. Seriously. This is not a joke. I do not take my place in America lightly.
First of all, I am so saddened for the Klein family, who lost their business because of horrible harassment. Their lives were threatened, their children’s lives were threatened, and Mr. Klein was told that he was better off being raped than being a bigot. That type of behavior is just unacceptable. That’s a hate crime. I don’t care who you are. Mr. and Mrs. Klein are children of God, just like you, and telling them you wish them dead makes you look a whole heck of a lot worse than them not baking a gay wedding cake.
Now, to be clear, those activists do have a right to say what they want. Legally. It’s a First Amendment right. However, they cannot threaten sickness and death upon the family without legal action begin permissible. So, if the activists want to claim that they’re being treated with illegality, then they need to make sure that they aren’t also acting illegally.
Next, Sweet Cakes by Melissa does have the right to refuse service. Why? Because the law says so. It’s that simple. You want a gay wedding cake? Melissa denied you? Move on. Find another bakery. There’s a baptist church down the street from me and if I asked them to have my Mormon wedding reception there they would resoundingly say “NO!” Why? Because I’m Mormon and they are baptist and they don’t agree with what I believe. That story wouldn’t make news. Mostly because I, as a Mormon, would never think to ask a baptist church to host my reception. I would know going into it that they don’t agree with my beliefs and, therefore, would refuse service to me. That’s why, when looking for a reception venue, I only look at my own church buildings or places that I know will be accommodating to Latter-day Saints.
Now, this post isn’t about Mormons and Baptists. Why? Because we can get along without one of us threatening the others’ life. (note: this does not include Westboro Baptist. They actually do want everyone dead, I think. Or to rot in Hell. Something like that)
My point is as follows: The lesbian couple knew that Sweet Cakes by Melissa was owned by a conservative Christian family who didn’t agree with their lifestyle. Is that backwards? Is that bigoted? That’s not the point. It’s completely not the point. If it were the point, I would address it. However, the LGBT community has turned that into the point–that the lesbian couple was denied a cake because the straight couple are bigots. It seems to me that the lesbian couple and the LGBT activists singled out the Christian bakery because they didn’t like that they weren’t LGBT friendly. My point: if all the lesbian couple/LGBT community wanted was a cake for a wedding, they should have (and could have easily) gone somewhere else. The bakery was singled out because of its conservative values and forced to close through threats of violence and death.
Is that really the world we live in in 2013? Why? Why? Why? LGBT community, you know what it’s like to be excluded and to feel like you’re on the outskirts of society, standing there unaccepted. Don’t you? Why would you force those same feelings of shame and hurt onto other human beings, in this case the Kleins? It breaks my heart that people can’t just get along.
Gays, not everyone is going to bake you a cake. That’s the reality of it. Not everyone is going to agree with your choices. But hopefully there is a bakery out there, if you call around, who will bake you a cake. I wish that you could have left this bakery alone when they refused you and just moved on. I know they aren’t the only bakery in the city where you live. Not everyone is going to agree with your lifestyle, and that’s okay. Melissa’s bakery didn’t come after you to tell you that you are wrong. They simply stood up for what the Constitution of the United States of America gives them the right to stand up for–what they believe. You sought out that bakery to tear it down with hatred and violence and disgusting words of shame and torture.
Klein family, I am sorry that you suffered at the hand of violence and bigotry in its own sense. I am sorry that you felt closing your bakery was your only option. You have a right to stand up for what you believe in, and you did so. You did so without name calling, without hatred, and without threats. You simply said, “no”.
America, if you don’t agree with someone or something, don’t force your beliefs on them until they have no choice but to crumble. Accept that we are all human, that we are all different, and that we all hold different values. That’s what makes us Americans–that we can all live together while all being completely different. We don’t all have to agree. We won’t always get our cake baked. But we can all treat each other with respect and Christlike love.